Hello there, I was snooping and going over some of my old stuff that I had written over the years on Myspace and I'm going to say this... I hated everyone.... Well According to my blogs, and I was deeply in love with someone that was fucking with my feelings... I ended up writing a lot about him and it was a waste of time.. Any way, thinking about my life now I actually like where it's going. I'm getting my portfolio done. Conventions are getting kinda boring because I have to Avoid my ex and trying to figure out to chill with my Missouri friends while avoiding that one EVIL Missouri boy. I am thinking that it's better to be single because then I can do what ever I like and still not feel guilty about things. But at the same time I get lonely so I try and connect with someone. Which we did connect, His name is Osiris and he is AWESOMESAUSE! Teehee he lives in Joliet and he is beautiful. His eyes are what gets me. They are like this Blue Green color. I don't know... there is something about him that makes me breathless. The last time this happened it ended extremely bad. But then again the last one lived about 30 to 25 minutes away from me and never wanted to come by me and chill. This one lives 45 to an hour away from me and was nervous to meet me and chill with me. Also the last person that this feeling happened with he never talked to me on the phone. The second time we talked on facebook he gave me his number and I was like what the hell and I called him. I am taking the risk. I normally never take. I'm scared shittless and I'm awkward.
So ok this is what happened. He can around 2 and he showed up all smiles and his smile is like I don't know how to explain it but it's like BAM! ( that is as good as im going to describe it) and we hugged. His smell was well i'm not sure im a little indifferent about his scent right now. But that is a big factor in liking someone for me. Their natural scent. So we talked and his reaction to my room was a bit odd and he wouldn't look at me at first. I don't know if I should have taken that as a bad sign or a bad but I let it go. Later we had to pick up Quinn and other peeps from their first day of high school. We did and Talked for 20 minutes in front of the high school on a rock. That is when I noticed his eyes. OMG I died when he looked at me. Eyes are a very big thing with me. I like them when I can see everything and just feel engulfed in them. With him I wanted to look him in the eyes. Wanted him to see through me, any way we walked home then we saw Agatha and instantly I was like SHIT! Because she is much better looking them me and is much more confident. He is also a Boob guy and she has MUCH bigger tata's then me. So I was like OH FUCK! I knew I lost when he saw her. Insecurities suck but I love her I let it go and went on being my silly self. The whole group when back to my place and stayed there till anime club. I don't know who he was staring at since I was stupid and sat by her. She talked most of the time. We were by each other most of the time and where like AWESOME but I was like shit shit shit shit. But after he had to go I walked him to his car and was like, Ok, We hugged and he said we need to chill again which of course made me smile. Then he got in his car and drove away. Later I had texted him saying so you liked my friends huh? and he was like it was interesting. Anyway he added Her on facebook and of course I got jealious. but whatever if they get together hope they are happy. ** sigh ** Oh well. Time to get back to those damn dating sites. T.T
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