Blue, Green, and Slight Disappointment.

Hello there, I was snooping and going over some of my old stuff that I had written over the years on Myspace and I'm going to say this... I hated everyone.... Well According to my blogs, and I was deeply in love with someone that was fucking with my feelings... I ended up writing a lot about him and it was a waste of time.. Any way, thinking about my life now I actually like where it's going. I'm getting my portfolio done. Conventions are getting kinda boring because I have to Avoid my ex and trying to figure out to chill with my Missouri friends while avoiding that one EVIL Missouri boy. I am thinking that it's better to be single because then I can do what ever I like and still not feel guilty about things. But at the same time I get lonely so I try and connect with someone. Which we did connect, His name is Osiris and he is AWESOMESAUSE! Teehee he lives in Joliet and he is beautiful. His eyes are what gets me. They are like this Blue Green color. I don't know... there is something about him that makes me breathless. The last time this happened it ended extremely bad. But then again the last one lived about 30 to 25 minutes away from me and never wanted to come by me and chill. This one lives 45 to an hour away from me and was nervous to meet me and chill with me. Also the last person that this feeling happened with he never talked to me on the phone. The second time we talked on facebook he gave me his number and I was like what the hell and I called him. I am taking the risk. I normally never take. I'm scared shittless and I'm awkward.

So ok this is what happened. He can around 2 and he showed up all smiles and his smile is like I don't know how to explain it but it's like BAM! ( that is as good as im going to describe it) and we hugged. His smell was well i'm not sure im a little indifferent about his scent right now. But that is a big factor in liking someone for me. Their natural scent. So we talked and his reaction to my room was a bit odd and he wouldn't look at me at first. I don't know if I should have taken that as a bad sign or a bad but I let it go. Later we had to pick up Quinn and other peeps from their first day of high school. We did and Talked for 20 minutes in front of the high school on a rock. That is when I noticed his eyes. OMG I died when he looked at me. Eyes are a very big thing with me. I like them when I can see everything and just feel engulfed in them. With him I wanted to look him in the eyes. Wanted him to see through me, any way we walked home then we saw Agatha and instantly I was like SHIT! Because she is much better looking them me and is much more confident. He is also a Boob guy and she has MUCH bigger tata's then me. So I was like OH FUCK! I knew I lost when he saw her. Insecurities suck but I love her I let it go and went on being my silly self. The whole group when back to my place and stayed there till anime club. I don't know who he was staring at since I was stupid and sat by her. She talked most of the time. We were by each other most of the time and where like AWESOME but I was like shit shit shit shit. But after he had to go I walked him to his car and was like, Ok, We hugged and he said we need to chill again which of course made me smile. Then he got in his car and drove away. Later I had texted him saying so you liked my friends huh? and he was like it was interesting. Anyway he added Her on facebook and of course I got jealious. but whatever if they get together hope they are happy. ** sigh ** Oh well. Time to get back to those damn dating sites. T.T

Night and Shooting Stars...Howling?

On Aug 12th there was suppose to be a like a zillion shooting stars. So Me, my mom and her friend went to the forest preserve. Alas we spent most off the time feeding Betty ( the deer that tried to kill me but ended up befriending me. I fed her Pork-grinds Any way then after a while Betty went back to her family and we started looking up at the stars... we saw about 12 to 13 shooting stars and me and my mom's friend sung the meatball song that they used to play on channel 11. I don't know how many people know that song but meh I don't care.

Any who after about 2 am there was something that sounded like a female scream. Long behold it was a fox. Soon the whole forest preserve sounded with the song of red foxes. Now I never knew how many foxes where in the forest preserve and by the sound of these howls it was like hundreds! The Night sounded a live and I shushed my company while we listened ( but I couldn't help but join in.) We ended up seeing the Fox that started it. Running while howling his furry tail was bobbing up and down so cute. XD But any way, by the end of the night my legs and thighs were covered in mosquito bites. Big ones too. DX but I had fun none the less. I wouldn't have done it any other way. ^_^

Raves Lights and False Love.

Here's the deal. Yesterday was a bummer when it came to one of my ex's. He's the recent one name's I rather not say but if you know me you know who im talking about.... I really do hate him in a way, but in another I envy, care, and love him. With him it was like it hit me like a truck. It was back at Acen 2008. I had my bright red hair short, and I was at a rave. The Soap Bubble, me dancing of course and that's when I saw him, dancing in the raves circle. The flashing lights hitting his shirtless body every which way, him and his white neko hat violent movements and flashing breaking moves. Loing behold I didn't know him even though I admired him.

I went in the circle to challenge him. We danced around each other, beautifully, each move I did he matched just with ease. I know he was just going to play with my feelings just like every other guy that I have dated... But I wanted to try.

So the rave ended and I hadn't seen him in about 2010 Reactor so I think that would be 3 years. Which is a long time. I always treasured the memory of that raving night since it took my mind of things, daydreaming is a sin. Any way I was there and he was as well. He had purple hair and he was as breathtaking as when I first met him. I knew who he was when he started dancing. I remembered his body. The way it moved and looked, but I still didn't know him and long behold he was with his friends...

During the gay little rave at this party con happened we challenged each other. I had gotten better and he said " I don't like it. " and I laughed and smiled. Then a little into the rave near the end I say him kiss some girl, one of his friends. my stomach dropped and I turned around and walked away. At the time I knew how disappointment felt and I went back to chilling with my friends with a smile. Soon after the convention I forgot about him and the kiss and went on with my life. A few months after he added me on facebook, I think it was around October because I remember something about this haunted house he worked at.

So we talked, and laughed and then we exchanged numbers. I helped him when I could and then I had a chance to see him. At his house when we were driving our friends home. SO I took it, looking back now I shouldn't have spent that much effort on it. But whatever I'm allowed to make mistakes right? Well when I got there we had been talking about how he needed a new collar, and I had mine on me so I took the red fur off and when I was standing in front of him. Looking up at him I placed it around his neck and smiled and giggled and he smiled back. I thought it was something more the it was. He gripped me and by the waste and pulled me in lighting kissing me. I smiled and play growled. he smiled back too.

We wrestled for a few minutes and he pinned me. He didn't expect me to flip him and was shocked. After my friends yelled at me that it was time to go I was hesitate to leave. He gripped me again with his nails crapping my back, I smiled and I returned his fun with ripping my nails a long his back. He shivered and smiled again. I ended up stealing his hat. Giggling all the way home from the ride. Hour or two home.

I'm going to skip a little bit in the story because I don't want to tell the side dates even though they are funny.

This was my birthday celebration, I was out by may dad's house and that is where he asked me out. It was over Facebook, I think that would have been my first clue in the whole relationship was going to be bullshit. But I kept on because I truely thought that I was going to be happy. I was sadly mistaken. Well we dated for only 2 weeks. We were sexual with each other, and he made the pain/bondage/aggressive side of me. Plus, he made a few points, and helped me with a couple of problems I had been having and I am much happier now. But there are things I wish i hadn't learned from him.

No guy is worth what I went threw. Even though it was a simple thing of boy liked me for my body, I still don't think any girl should go threw with it. If all he wanted was to be sexual he should have said so. Instead of lying and making false promises, and I wouldn't doubt he cheated on me. But I do know that I liked him a lot and this is just another problem in my dating life. I am learning not to trust guys. I know that's not fair but there are only 2 people that I have dated that I love. LOVE as in I LOVE THEM, and it's going to take a lot to get into some kind of relationship.

Well folks the reason I wrote about it is that person that this story is about was drunk and long behold made me feel like shit. And I had enough of it. So I cut him out of my life along with everyone else that was related to him in anyway. I deleted something I thought could work out as a friendship. Boy was I wrong.

My Hair.

In the end this is how my hair turned out. ^_^ ** sweat drop** kinda looks like my other cuts... but again I like it...

Thank you to Mrs.Brame for Cutting my hair. She was sooooo nice. ^_^ I loved her! So I gave her Sweetish Fish... 4 packages but Quinn Brame ate one pack sooooooo she only get's three ** laughs nerviously**

Any who here is the update...

Note: My boob in this picture looks soooooo much bigger then it actually is... it's funny

Hair Cut.... Hmmmm

<=== This is the Hair i would like to have... but sadly I like it a tad bit Punkier and since shaving some of my head is out because half of my friends would kill me if I actually get it done :/

This picture is Yes Pussycat Dolls Kimberly Wyatt. I love her... with her flexibility. ^_^

I'm also thinking about some color in my hair. Since my hair haz been all colors of the rainbow I really don't mind... But I wouldn't like staying blonde since yet again i have a weird complexion and look very.... Red if i do stay blonde >.< But it is tempting... just to see how it looks... you know?

Any Who.... I'll go into my hair colors later... I'll even post a few pictures of me if your lucky ;D

Anywho this concludes this Blog... Kinda... There will be another one soon enough... lol